Mothers' Day

Mothers' Day

I plan my daughter’s birthday party every year
For Mothers' Day weekend. I think it’s a perfect reason 
To celebrate why I’m a mother. 
I don’t want to wake up and wish I’m not doing mother things
In mother ways, instead celebrating her 
And the fact she came and joined us at all. 
This did not come easily to me.
I was not handed it over and over again
Like my mother. Like hers. 
And when mothers joke that they just want a day off, 
I hear how my mother called it a prison sentence. 
I understand how hard caregiving is. I have done it 
Over and over for more children than my own. 
So every other day of the year 
I wake up with the intent to dismantle the system 
That holds me differently than her father. But this weekend? 
Flowers. Cake. Fancy glassware. 
Anything for you dear.
I’m just so glad you’re here. 

---

My girls. I dreamed of having three daughters, but life bended differently. But I still have an eight year old, a (almost) four year old, and a two year old.

Lastly, I’d like to include the last self-portrait I took last summer as part of my Major Arcana series. It is for the card Justice that I’ve reimagined as The Parent.

Justice Keywords

UPRIGHT: Justice, fairness, truth, cause and effect, law

REVERSED: Unfairness, lack of accountability, dishonesty

From BiddyTarot.com: She holds a sword in her right hand, showing the logical, well-ordered mindset necessary to dispense fair justice. The sword points upwards – expressing a firm and final decision – and the double-edged blade signifies that our actions always carry consequences. The scales in her left (intuitive) hand, show intuition must balance that logic and are a symbol of her impartiality. Justice wears a crown with a small square on it representing well-ordered thoughts, and a red robe with a green mantle. A little white shoe pops out from beneath her clothing as a reminder of the spiritual consequences of your actions.

I don’t see “parents” as just the people who have kids, but moreso guides that parent as a verb. I once called upon my friend, who happens to be childfree, because I needed a “mom.” My mom is not someone I call anymore for support, but I have a really beautiful network of friends who I find fit this role. So I called this friend because I didn’t know what to do with a problem, and I wanted someone who knew all the players, who was going to listen and hear me, was going to help me figure out what to do, and who wasn’t going to think differently of any of us after I vented to her. I believe I personally learned the most about how to parent from reparenting myself and being a preschool teacher.

So however this weekend looks for you, I wish you May flowers and feelings of spring. I hope you connect with the people who make you feel most loved.