A Week's Worth - Penultimate
May 26 - June 1
Hello!
I’m feeling good this week - how are you? I’ve rested and recharged, I don’t feel as burnt out, and I don’t feel as guilty about my productivity levels. I’ve written drafts of poetry here and there, I’ve edited some professional photography sessions and feel proud of what I created, and I got my self portrait done on the *second* to last day of the month instead of the *last* day. Atta girl!
So for my week’s worth review, I really only have my self-portrait to show off BUT I’m also incredibly proud of myself for the magnitude of this project (I started in January 2023) so I am gonna let myself bask in that pride. This is the second to last portrait of the Major Arcana.
Here’s May 2024’s self portrait: The Housewife
I wrote this poem and planned this portrait during the winter when I was, how do you say, trés miserablé! I was very much stuck inside, stuck in the same routine, and feeling that housewife monotony. I modeled it on 1950’s ads:
I’m pairing this portrait with the Strength tarot card, which I think is a fun choice! Go with me.
Biddytarot.com describes the Strength card as: In the Strength Tarot card, a woman gently strokes a lion on its forehead and jaw. Even though it is known for its ferociousness, the woman has tamed this wild beast with her calming, loving energy. The lion is a symbol of raw passions and desires, and in taming him, the woman shows that animal instinct and raw passion can be expressed in positive ways when inner strength and resilience are applied. She doesn’t use force or coercion; she channels her inner strength to subdue and subtly control the lion.
UPRIGHT: Strength, courage, persuasion, influence, compassion
REVERSED: Inner strength/overcoming challenges, self-doubt, low energy, raw emotion
Hindustantimes says: In its upright position, the Strength card signifies strength, courage, persuasion, and patience. It emphasizes achieving success through inner strength rather than external force. It encourages maintaining a calm, logical, and optimistic demeanor even in the face of challenging situations.
Historically, being a housewife has been a cage for women. It was sold by the patriarchy as a form of security, but there was rarely any choice in it and it led some women to experience “Housewife Syndrome,'“ a mental disorder with “bouts of madness and enigmatic conditions, such as hysteria or neurosis, that plagued women who showed unhappiness in their stereotypical role of homemaker.”
Now there’s *a little* more choice in becoming a housewife or stay-at-home-mom, but there’s still an inequitable distribution of household managing even if women work outside the home. There’s also a lack of recognition by most of society for the work that goes into primary caregiving and/or household management. Women are typically the default caregivers, cooks, cleaners, schedulers, chauffeurs, etc. etc.
To me, the housewife is a great depiction of strength from a historic perspective. For so much of the last century, this was what women experienced and I’ll be real, during the winter when I was stuck inside non-stop cleaning and caregiving with little fresh stimulation in my enclosure, I was not only perpetually exhausted … I was so fucking bored. It is strange to be so tired and so so so bored at the same time.
But also, homemaking brings joy. I’ve chatted with multiple friends in different life-styles and different house-styles about how they’re fixing up their home, how they’re decorating their space, how they’re making each room fulfill a purpose and a feeling. How they fill each room up with love. How they renovate with love. How they make a home.
For so much of history, women have shown up relentlessly for exhausting work that is not entirely mentally stimulating… and they did so with love. Or if not love, patience - so that they didn’t let their rage, grief, and boredom consume every inch of the room. The lion, the raw passions and desires, were tamed. They did not coerce; they used inner strength.
Now, I’m not an idiot - they weren’t doing this out of the ol’ goodness of their feminine hearts! They were doing this out of oppression - but I’m painting some poetry with it, people! And there were women who didn’t do it with love, didn’t do it with patience, didn’t do it at all. Some women let their rage set fire to every inch of the room. (Raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimized by the rage of a Housewife in your family line.) If I were in a less equitable household where I was actually tasked with cooking meals, I assure you my house would be burned down by either ill intent or accident; the police will never know.
When I consider how I could portray strength from my own experiences, I juxtapose weightlifting at the gym to the “Housewife.” I’ve noticed physical improvement over the months and I feel so strong and powerful! Each time I go, it’s time out of my week purely dedicated to myself. I am encouraged and applauded by the community working hard around me. As a “Housewife,” you can feel pretty meaningless. It’s time dedicated mainly to other people. Rarely are you encouraged or applauded unless it’s by some mommy blogger in a flowy dress saying “You got this, mamaaaaaa.” (And notice, being a Housewife has nothing to do with being a mother if we view mother as the relationship it is, and not a role. We could replace “wife” with “keeper,” (because wife is also a relationship, not a role) but there are a ton of connotations I’d have to start breaking down and I’m tired, y’all.) I was part of the generation of women raised to know we didn’t have to be just housewives! We could be so much more! (But still, maintain the house after you get off work.)
There’s a lot of Strength in reconciling something you love, something you want, something that brings you joy with something that is so tiring, so invisible, and so. godamn. boring. The wallpaper is a source of joy and it’s where we hide our grief.
ANYWAY, that’s The Housewife. If you’re new to this project, in January 2023 I started doing self-portraits monthly that eventually evolved into creating the Major Arcana. What I’ve loved about this project is exploring how each facet of the Major Arcana shows up in myself. I approached each portrait like a visual poem, sometimes adding an actual poem to the piece. It provided me with motivation to really reflect on each tarot card’s meaning. I also learned that I enjoy photography like this - something very pre-planned and constructed, theatrical, story-telling. Mapping something out in my head and thinking of all the little details made taking the actual photo easy.
Here are the first 9 of the series:
I’m struggling on how I want to present them. I like this card format, but I also want to include the title of each piece. (And clean it all up - make it more uniform.) I should also probably compile a document of them all with every poem and write up I did. I’ll get there! This week, I’m just really pleased I got this portrait done. One more to go!
OH OH! one last thing:
I’m not just watering weeds 😏 .
Reflections:
I’m gonna offer a couple different things to reflect on today:
What creative arts did you get into this week? How did they make you feel and do you think it contributed to the overall mood of your week?
If you were going to take a portrait of yourself for the Strength card, how would you depict yourself? What part of your identity exhibits the most inner-strength/overcoming challenges?
If you didn’t do any creative arts this week, what seedlings did you water? It could be yourself with downtime, your friendships, your home, your hobbies, your garden. I’d love to hear about it in the comments if you’d like to share!
Much love and enduring,
Bríg
I think I’d be a gardener in the strength card! But maybe I’d be a gardener in all of them 😂